Feelings of Inadequacy

My own words frustrate me --
I wrestle with them,
force them into molds,
watch them spring back
to their natural shape
the moment I release them on the page.

Goddamn you!  Do as I say!  Read as I feel!
Express perfectly, immediately, 
what is inside my heart!

You are so inadequate,
and therefore, so am I,
because I created you.
You remind me of how poorly I find focus,
how rarely I make sense of the inner Chaos.
I fight myself, 
failing to cut through Poetry
to write poetry.

There, I did it again!

Scott Speck
12/01/2001