Gathering Courage

I hid my heart at their deathbeds,
they whom I loved
but didn't have the courage
to watch wither and pass away.

I mourned their loss
only after they had fallen still
and were made up to look 
twenty years younger,
before time and sickness
had drained them.

Dad's sudden death left me numb,
so insulated by the fear
of watching him float away
that I barely shed a tear.

Now it's down to just a few,
those of you I love and hold close
in my heart despite the end
I know is coming.

None of you will die
without me by your side.
I promise to look into your eyes,
to feel as you feel,
to take your hand in mine
and face death beside you.

Scott Speck
09/19/2002