the revelation

There were times I denied
myself dinner to catch a glimpse
of what it meant to starve.
I marched through evening prayers,
repeating litanies until I dozed off,
awoke, and smacked myself
for deserting you in the Garden.
Weekly confessions,
of lusts and petty lies
whispered to your priest
who dispensed forgiveness
with a blurry incantation.
You fled my heart at Church
and avoided me in prayer,
hiding in darkness the face
I longed to behold.
You waited until the night
I least expected,
in Dom's TV and Appliance store,
while I leaned against
a washing machine.
You lulled me into reverie,
heart thumping in my head
as my soul became liquid,
slipping through the seam
around the washer's lid,
trickling down to pool
about the agitator.
You transported me
to your dark domain
and dangled me beneath
your craning jaws, ice breath
hissing from your throat.
Teeth drew near my pliant neck,
and I froze within your stare.
Immersed in vast unknowing,
I heard a voiceless whisper
and knew it was you.

Scott Speck
05/07/99